Creative Vulnerability: How We utilize our expression and sensitivity to transform life and all of existence

“Creative Vulnerability,” my heart whispered, “this is the way in, and this is the way out...”

    Laying in bed this morning, eyes still puffy from yesterday, an absolute melting of walls around my heart, layered in trauma, fear and sorrow, I hear the phrase that suggests a spark of intuitive evolution and radical transformation. So many who know me have told me I am very sensitive, and while I agree, the subliminal connotation is often negatively charged. Rarely is it expressed as a potent gift, empathy and deep compassion that draws feelings from all timelines in all directions, for souls beyond mine alone. I have come to cherish my sensitivity more times than not, for, as an Intuitive, my senses are always expanding, bringing more insight, wisdom and teachings that I know ultimately are for the wellbeing of all. My sensitivity is what grants access to worlds that many are unfamiliar with, where I communicate with my heart to animals and plants, to the sky and to the stars. I can see into what others are feeling, often times before they are even aware. I feel into space, and am shown the quality of life that resides and breathes there. Sometimes what I pick up on is uncomfortable, and still I know it is radically imperative that I choose to honor all that I see with light to the best of my ability. I believe cleaning up and dilating these channels, through presence and acceptance is what enables  creative inspiration on so many levels. 
    
    Sure, I’ve known I am a creative person. I have even been told that literally my problem is that I’m “just too creative” and “way too sensitive” and this is why from the outside, it appears it’s taken me longer to settle onto a career path or any other number of things that people have decided should or shouldn't be in my life. Talented in many ways and so curious and enamored with so many things, it felt as though choosing a path in any direction would somehow trap me in some illusionary, inevitable future boredom and monotonous routine… total abandon for the thousand other ideas and dreams that have danced through my mind once, if not dozens of times before. Sensitivity and creativity have always felt like the magic that sets my heart on fire, portals for the seriously potent magic I know I am capable of. This dynamic duo drives my passion, my ability to see, feel, hear and understand details about the world that some never question, let alone swim in. So why has it felt so hard? How do we get out of our own way or release the judgements and walls around our incredible gifts and ultimate life force?

    When I have insisted on pushing, or rejecting the bubbling of feelings I know ultimately are here for my highest evolution, they accumulate aggressively in my emotional body and leak out periodically, latching to stories of abandonment, trauma, rejection and heartbreaks from my past. To say I’m over this pattern is an understatement. If not for harmony in my own life, but for the wellbeing of the world. I will say this A LOT; what we do, how we speak, act, honor our feelings, love… makes a difference! The influence of our conscious and subconscious actions are rippling through the lives of others, the oceans, the trees, the life that thrives on this planet, and the entire universe at this very moment. We may not always receive validation first hand of the effort we offer, but we matter, our choices matter.
    
    I face intense emotions to help honor them with love, and to choose new ways of existing. Whatever the reason is, I know my choice and ultimate joy lies in my channeling of this energy. What I have come to realize is that this energy is a mysterious benevolence in my life that even though in the moment can create much discomfort, I always find more clarity and love on the other side. The energy that shifts our hearts has purpose, and we all have our roles in sharing ours and expediting it to the rest of the world. Asking myself where this energy wants to move, and how it wishes to transform is the creation of my soul’s journey. The movement of love. So, utilizing this force of creation, how can we begin to really tap into our fullest embodiment and expression? I believe it is through our vulnerability. Through our connection to our heart first and foremost and the frequency we radiate and welcome with all hearts. To create is to be so vulnerable. To illuminate the vision of our hearts, perhaps for the public even, as work? I know... as I sit here typing away, spilling my beans, wondering why I am sharing all this, and honoring still that I feel guided to do so, to respect the process and open wide to creative ingenuity. To be an artist and move with the pulse of the heart feels natural, but when we attach monetary value or find ourselves at the expense of countless critiques, both good and bad, it makes us wonder, how can we really stay grounded and balanced in our unique service? How can we nurture an authentic heart space that fuels our inspiration to continue and evolve? I mean, the definition of vulnerability is “the quality or state of being exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.” So, on a subconscious level, no wonder the resistance… no wonder the angst, no wonder the delay. 

    To create is to bring into existence, wherein we face deep and profound vulnerability. I believe the subconscious works in amazing ways, and through my studies I have encountered numerous ways of tapping into this fascinating world to help heal on all levels, past, present and future. I will most definitely touch on this over the series of these offerings, but for now, let us just play with the idea, as it may be new for some. Our beliefs, conscious and subconscious work as filters in our reality. In a sense, clouding, or magnetizing, avoiding or choosing certain scenarios and happenings in our lives. I have found one of the clearest ways to access the channels of immediate awareness to what my heart is trying to communicate with me is through something I like to call, Creative Vulnerability, how we utilize our expression, our sensitivity, to transform life and all of existence. We all are creative creators. Yes, we all are capable of channeling, creating magic in each moment. Our hearts want to lead, to be heard. To love and to be loved more deeply than we ever imagined possible.

    Self love has become seemingly, almost trendy as of recent, and thank goodness for this! I’ve read even “2018 is the year for self care” which is super rad! Making time to rub our skin with oil, to make beautiful spaces around us, to nourish ourselves with delicious and vibrant food… to hydrate our cells, to move our bodies. We are being asked to step up, to show up with our hearts blasting open, and it starts here, now, inside. Let us make space to be so vulnerable with ourselves, to listen, to create. Start small or start big. Write, freely, just for you. Maybe take a bath with flower essences, salts, essential oils and crystals, just so you can breathe and allow yourself to really feel into what you want to welcome in your life. Open your heart and pray, wish, envision, whatever you desire to call it, for something bigger than you. This is where intuition dances, where we abandon rigid should and should nots, and we just melt into the foundation of existence. Everyday we have the opportunity to expand and to love bigger. How can we share more authentically? How can we tap into more light and freedom? Where does our creativity wish to soar? I think the secret lies in listening to what our hearts wish to speak, and just following the process, without attachment or expectation to what the result will look like or should be. And with this, trusting that once we take a step, once we choose to just move, to act on our inspiration, energy moves and we will be supported. Doors will open we never expected to be there in the first place, let alone welcome us in warmly. More love all ways. Xo.

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